“Memoirs are a sojourn into the past for idiosyncratic reasons.  Undergirding this tricky passage are attempts to gain in-depth perspective and to reach fulfilling closure. Irwin Epstein’s memoir not only arrives at both places but in this beautifully and lively written work adds to the particular genre by focusing almost exclusively on male time.  His desire is to answer the puzzling question as to why and how he established loving, nonsexual, bonded relationships with certain men and not others.  And so the overall effect is the unraveling of an autobiographical mystery, and ultimately the mastery of this extraordinary life.”